First born Pt. 1
A mother's love is like nothing you can ever imagine feeling. When the baby is placed on your chest, and you just have this overflow of emotion flood your entire body and its instant heart full love.
I had met someone who loved me unconditionally. Someone who didn't see my faults instead saw his everything, that was me, I was thankful, right there in that moment I was complete.
Time stood still when I looked at my son for the first time, "Hey my son." Thank you for choosing me.
We went home that night from the hospital, enjoying our son, admiring the beauty we had brought into this world, all these emotions flowing through the night. Even took our first family photo
That was the last moment in my life I was just a new mum, I was me, the person I had been for the past 18 years.
19 hours old and our whole lives were about to change. Our beautiful baby boy started having seizures. I ran him out to the living room to my mum, screaming. She told his dad to call the ambulance and I remember going into the kitchen dropping to my knees and screaming with every fiber of my being - I thought he was dead, and PTSD was born.
The ambulance came and immediately gave him glucose to lift his sugar levels he was on seizure 5 with sugar levels of 0.05, I truly believe in that moment go intervened in our lives, given his sugar level he held on so tight for that ambulance.
At the hospital he was put on several machines and straight into a special incubator with many tubes and cables. I'm just standing there, numb, shocked, and in this moment the overwhelming thought of failure took up home in my heart.
it was day 5 i collapsed and my partner had to physically carry me to the parents stay room, I had minimal fluids but hadn't eaten since he was admitted, I was spending every hour sitting Infront of his incubator watching him, ready to sound the alarm if something happened. Anxiety was born.
The diagnosis was simply hypoglycemia. In my heart I doubted this, he had plenty of wet nappies, soiled nappies, I was blessed with loads of colostrum in that first 20 hours. My instinct was saying something else. Our son would go on to have a lengthy stay in NICU and then eventually be transferred to SCBU before being discharged home.
The first 24 hours of our son's life I celebrated our first born, I fell in love, and then I mourned normalcy, I experienced the worst heart break as a parent, and I housed new friends PTSD, Anxiety and trauma.
Little did we know it would not end the day we walked out of SCBU, the path that was paved for us was only going to get harder to trek.
I had met someone who loved me unconditionally. Someone who didn't see my faults instead saw his everything, that was me, I was thankful, right there in that moment I was complete.
Time stood still when I looked at my son for the first time, "Hey my son." Thank you for choosing me.
We went home that night from the hospital, enjoying our son, admiring the beauty we had brought into this world, all these emotions flowing through the night. Even took our first family photo
That was the last moment in my life I was just a new mum, I was me, the person I had been for the past 18 years.
19 hours old and our whole lives were about to change. Our beautiful baby boy started having seizures. I ran him out to the living room to my mum, screaming. She told his dad to call the ambulance and I remember going into the kitchen dropping to my knees and screaming with every fiber of my being - I thought he was dead, and PTSD was born.
The ambulance came and immediately gave him glucose to lift his sugar levels he was on seizure 5 with sugar levels of 0.05, I truly believe in that moment go intervened in our lives, given his sugar level he held on so tight for that ambulance.
At the hospital he was put on several machines and straight into a special incubator with many tubes and cables. I'm just standing there, numb, shocked, and in this moment the overwhelming thought of failure took up home in my heart.
it was day 5 i collapsed and my partner had to physically carry me to the parents stay room, I had minimal fluids but hadn't eaten since he was admitted, I was spending every hour sitting Infront of his incubator watching him, ready to sound the alarm if something happened. Anxiety was born.
The diagnosis was simply hypoglycemia. In my heart I doubted this, he had plenty of wet nappies, soiled nappies, I was blessed with loads of colostrum in that first 20 hours. My instinct was saying something else. Our son would go on to have a lengthy stay in NICU and then eventually be transferred to SCBU before being discharged home.
The first 24 hours of our son's life I celebrated our first born, I fell in love, and then I mourned normalcy, I experienced the worst heart break as a parent, and I housed new friends PTSD, Anxiety and trauma.
Little did we know it would not end the day we walked out of SCBU, the path that was paved for us was only going to get harder to trek.
April 2009
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